Forgive Someone Before It's Too Late
Taking a parent off life support is not the time for apologies
My mother died while we were in a stupid fight and not speaking for over a month.
She had lied to me.
I found out the truth.
My feelings were hurt.
We screamed at each other for a while, and then we stopped speaking.
I had no idea she would be dead in less than two months.
A month later, she messaged me to say she was in the hospital. I asked if I should get on a plane to come and see her? She told me not to bother, she would be fine and likely home by monthday.
That night, my father and her ate ice cream in her hospital room. Two days later, she was in a critical care coma and died shortly thereafter.
My mother was smart and kind. She did her best despite being very young, which often meant she found herself home alone with me.
She also had a fiery temper that would bubble up for seemingly no reason. She would yell, hit, and eventually punish me with distance and shame. She would often not speak to me for days.
She had a hard time saying sorry, which is a trait I learned and adopted from her.
Thirty-nine years later, I found myself sitting at her bedside, life support removed, while the rest of my family had left me alone in the room with her.
It took 45 minutes for her to die after her breathing tube was removed. I played music for her, I told her I loved her, and I finally said “I’m sorry.”
I wish she could have done the same but, it was too late for both of us.
Action Step:
Forgive and/or apologize to someone who doesn’t deserve it.